FEEDBACK: VOICE OVER

Voice Over:


Today my partner and I wrote the voice over for our short film. After carefully watching our footage making sure that the scrip matched the footage we recorded it and added it to the film. 

When creating the scrip for the voice over we took our protagonist Daisy's age into consideration and used appropriate language that our character would use for example 'well jell'. 

After we had added the voice over to our film we gained feedback from our teacher:

• The voice-over is positioned in exactly the right place in the film opening because by the time the voice-over starts we already have a very clearly established idea of the central character.

• We can see her habits we know her gender her age group and we like to already for what we've seen of her and what she doesn't feel sympathetic towards her. It is also very clear from the voice-over at the start the name of the character what she's doing and the whole concept of scrap book of dreams is very clearly signaled so that the center of the short film as a rights of passage film, as a coming-of-age film, as a sort of vlog.

• She knows her audience and she's delivering directly to her audience so we have a great and intimacy in the kind of shots we see in the voice-over confirms that.

• There is a rather clever bit in the voice-over where the words ‘it was crazy’ are heard at the same time as the girl taking tablets. This could suggest it could deliberately mislead the audience. It could suggest that she's taking tablets at the festival because she's taking some kind of substance to keep her going. This is clever because it's not until the end that we find that the tablets are actually to control her life threatening illness.

• One of the very ingenious structural devices of the voice-over is that it highlights key visual codes. All of these are linked to the orange arrows with the Diamante trim which point to key moments in the teenagers life.

•  In the voice over the words 'it all happened so fast' are then matched by real live-action so it goes from the looking at the scrapbook to live action of the young couple and their memories which is clever the choice of languages very careful for example rhetorical questions like you will never guess the use of colour, the use of colloquialisms and the whole teenage world is evoked think there's a word referring to jealousy for example contraction so the whole teenage world is evoked by the way that the voice-over is written ,the script is realistic.

• There needs to be some care taken about volume levels, which perhaps need to be tweaked.

•  In addition I think the moment before the skinny-dipping I need to be perhaps a little break in the voice over there because it removes rather fast from one bit of voice-over to the next bit.

• Another good aspect is the fact that the voice-over knows when to let the visuals and music speak for itself and that does create a sense of poignancy and fun because we're sharing those moments are in a unhurried way.

CONSTRUCTION: FILMING THE FINAL SCENE

Final Scene:

Shooting the final scene involved us dressing our protagonist Daisy in her hospital gown. We also used the other hospital props such as the medical tubes and wheel chair. 

This scene plays a very important role in our film, it is when her serious medial condition is revealed and it becomes clear to the audience why she has been documenting her life. 
To create empathy we chose to reverse Daisy throwing the pages of her scrapbook in the air. With the footage in reverse it shows the pages flying back to her and landing on her lap. 

FEEDBACK: SCRAPBOOK SCENE

FEEDBACK: PROPS

Feedback- Props/Mise en scene 

This scrapbook prop acts as the central narrative device: the order of the pages in the book is the order of the activities that occur in the short film thus it acts as a structuring device, tracing the narrative arc. 

In addison, it gives rise to some playful and inventive editing: sometimes the still photographs turn into live action. For example the bottom left picture features the protagonist and her boyfriend Gabriel in a romantic scene in a park. The photograph is the sort of record that couples take to hang onto their memories but it also afforded us the chance to freeze the action in which becomes symbolic in our narrative, as Daisy's life is put on hold and cut short by her illness. 

The scrapbook pages turn at the end of the film displaying some of the credits and the shutting of the book suggests the finality of Daisy's life and the end of her story. 

The scrapbook represents many hours of production work as it involved taking still photographs during shoots and outside of shoots, printing them off and collecting a variety of stickers, diamante studs, coloured paper and momentos of the day such as ticket stubs and sweet wrappers. 

This gif shows all the different 'bucket list' ideas that Daisy wants to carry out before its too late:

As a result I have received very positive feedback about the scrapbook prop and its significance in the film:

•  My focus group was intrigued by the creativity and detail of the scrapbook.
• The scrapbook prop is very convincing because it is what people her age do- people in love want to document every moment.
• The material in the scrapbook provides realistic photos to post on the social media sites such as Instagram.
• Adds pathos to the story because it is Daisy the protagonist memorialising her life because she is dying she knows how valuable every moment is.